xerxes's profile

F / 30 yrs old Last Online

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I dont want the truth. I want the dream. I want to be the center of attention; I want all the eyes on me. I want the lies and gossip spread around. I want the hush when I walk through the door. I want to see the envy in their eyes when I walk on by with my head held high. They all hate me because I'm better yet follow me around like the worthless dogs that they are.

They say I am heartless and self absorbed. They say that I am vain and have an ego that is in full control. They tell me I'm apathetic as if I were to care. But they don't know me, they have no idea who I am. They see what I show them and will never see more.

I've been in the wards and I've gone through the treatment. Yet I'm still popping the pills and getting drunk every weekend. My wrists are still cut and I'm still addicted to drugs. But in the end I'll always be better than you, don't dare try to disprove it.

They tell me I'm thin, they tell me to believe it. I look in the mirror-I guess what I see is distorted. I can't help it though, I won't being eating.

I've been through the abuse and maltreatment. I've seen many horrors and have been plagued by death. I've lost a dear brother and 4 close friends, can you really tell me everything will end up ok?

I'm too Hollywood for my own good. I'm the glitz the glamour and the fame as Felix Da Housecat would say. I'm superficial and shallow, can you really expect to act any other way? I need the money and I need the clothes, I need to feel expensive, it is the only way to feel good.

I'm a billionaire with a contract with vogue...
i like to drive my maserati to the flower market on sundays
and drink priceless ancient beer from the tombs of egyptian pharoahs

Any maybe they are right; that I'll end up in hell. Still, I'll hold my head up and be the best of all the damned.